A weekend full of fun!

This has been the first weekend that I've had BK home with me since the beginning of the month. It was a good one- did some entertaining, some relaxing, saw a show, enjoyed a couple new restaurants and are going to attempt to watch the Super Bowl.

We started the weekend off by hosting a Mexican fiesta for ten at our house. It wasn't actually so much of a fiesta, but more of a dinner party for BK's team. We all (spouses included) went out for dinner back in November and had a lot of fun. BK decided that instead of going out again, where it can be rather crowded and really loud, he wanted to have everyone over to our apartment for dinner after they made it through year-end in January.

It turned into a "fiesta" of sorts when I decided that I should try my hand at Tex-Mex cooking here in Switzerland. Don't get me wrong, as a Texan, I have cooked Tex-Mex many times before. The big questions here were: could I find the ingredients that I needed and would it taste the same? Since we have no grill, fajitas were out of the question, so I went with a salad with avocado and mango, chicken and spinach enchiladas, crunchy beef tacos and refried beans. We also did homemade salsa and BK made guacamole.

The hardest thing about the whole night was getting all of the ingredients, which required me to go to approximately four different stores. The problem was that each store carries something different, so for example, Globus had taco shells, cheddar cheese and refried beans, but no rotisserie chicken and limited veggies, Migros had the chicken and veggies, but doesn't sell alcohol, so it was off to Coop for that. Such is life here. Not to mention that I also had to bring it all home, which was actually done over two days of shopping. Here's what the tiny kitchen looked like after all that shopping:

Everything turned out great and we all had a really good time. Somehow I managed to get everything cooked and time it so that it was all ready around the same time. Our entry/living/dining area is great for entertaining. We were also really excited to be able to use our entire dining room table, pulling the leaves out to seat 10 comfortably. Unfortunately we forgot to take a picture!

In Switzerland it is customary to bring your hosts a small gift when you come to their home. Here's what everyone brought us:

Of course, our four-legged family members were not invited to the party (much to the disappointment of BK's team). So Saturday morning we slept late, BK got a much-needed haircut and tried a new place for lunch. Later we went and picked up the boys and just enjoyed a relaxing night at home.

The boys must have played hard with their dog friends, because they let us sleep in again this morning. I made homemade oatmeal (as in, not instant) for the first time ever. As a kid, I ate the non-instant stuff, but I haven't' ever made it for myself. It was good, especially when I added in brown sugar, cinnamon and half an apple. Yum!

The other thing we did today was go see the play/musical Shadowland. I'll just say upfront it was just a little too artsy for my taste. There was no dialogue and most of the show is the actors making shadows with their bodies. I think if you're not going to have any dialogue in a show, than at least have a storyline that's easy to follow. Not so much on this one. At some point the main actress turns into herself, but with a dog head. What? Yeah, I didn't get it either. The end was the most exciting part when they thanked Basel with some upbeat music and cool shadows. Not to mention that they bowed approximately 17 times, which I didn't understand either.

Anyway, after that BK and I tried another new restaurant then headed home to hang out for a bit before now attempting to stay awake until the Super Bowl comes on. We'll see how this goes…BK's already dosing off on the other side of the couch.

Is the American way the right way?

Now that I've finished my assigned dog book, I've moved onto parenting books. I decided I should save these for the third trimester so I might actually remember something when Baby K comes along, and I figured without so much travel I would probably have a little more time. I was right, but I didn't realize how much I would enjoy this first one: Bringing Up Bebe.

I probably found it most interesting because by living outside of the US I've already experienced many cultural differences myself living in Switzerland- both in regard to raising children and in relation to our life in general. This particular book looks at what has become the "American" way of motherhood and raising children and compares them to how the French do things. Living here, BK and I have obviously had other American ways challenged, including the one I posted about the other day, the fact that it's so much easier to be healthy here and that making everything ultra convenient, around-the-clock, and placing a high value on business are not necessarily a good thing.

Even though Baby K was a shock to everyone else, BK and I had discussed many things about having a family at length amongst ourselves. Before it happened, we talked a lot about what we would be most excited about and what were we feared the most. We do still have those conversations, but have also now started discussing what type of parents we think we want to be, how we'll handle discipline, how our relationship will change, expectations of one another, and lots of other stuff.

Many people say, "LK, you can't know those things until your child comes along, then you will figure out how to do things- it depends on the child." Umm, for me that's just not enough. I feel like our life will be all willy nilly and crazy, which neither of us function very well within. Maybe it's weird of me to plan to do things keeping in mind the way that BK and I function best, but we're the ones who will make the family run, so it makes sense to me. Also, after nearly nine years of marriage I'm not sure that we know what else to do.

Going back to the book, one of the funny things that I found was that about 2/3 of the way through I realized that I think this how my parents parented. Maybe that's why I found myself nodding all the way through, like this doesn't seem so foreign to me after all.

A couple of my favorite tidbits include:

• Could it be that making children delay gratification actually makes them calmer and more resilient? Having kids who can wait makes family life more pleasant.
• Kids learning to play by themselves is important- it helps them learn to be happy by themselves.
• Teaching your kids frustration is not a bad thing. A child must learn from a very young age that he's not alone in the world, and that there's a time for everything.
• She's (a mom) always been very clear on what was okay and what wasn't. She managed to be both affectionate and have authority without ever raising her voice.
• If every misbehavior is treated as equal, how will they know what's important?
• The couple is the most important. It's only thing that you chose in your life. Your children, you didn't chose. You chose your husband; you're going to make your life with him, so you have an interest in it going well. Your children will eventually leave and it will be back to the couple.

Like I said, these were just a few, and I highlighted tons of stuff so that BK could read up on my notes. One of the biggest things that I was taught early on and carried with me throughout life is to make myself happy before I ever try to make anyone else happy. I think I'll carry this with me through parenthood, knowing that I'll be a much better parent if I'm able to fulfill other areas of my life as well- husband, career, friends, baking, running, traveling, time by myself…just to name a few.

Do I think this is the "right" way? I'm not sure, but I think people should do what works for them and BK and I will make a go at it the way we think works for us too.

Who's being trained here?

Our goal: two calm and obedient pups

Today I finished the book the trainer wanted me to read, On Talking Terms with Dogs: Calming Signals. It's quite an easy and quick read and has a completely different philosophy from other dog training books that I've read, mostly in that dogs need positive reinforcement to give positive actions and reactions to things in their world.

In general this seems to be how the Swiss view dog training- no punishment, threats or punitive action, just rewards for positive behavior. I personally find this very challenging. As I sit here typing, Tanner is kind of growling/whining at me and I at least would like to send him a glare to let him know that this is not okay. But no can do…I need to just ignore, even going to the extent to turn my back on him and walking into the other room. And yes, it's hard.

The other part of this is learning what your dogs' calming signals are, or in other words, how they attempt to calm themselves and other dogs/people in their environment down. Over the past few days I've been trying to observe both Tanner and Toby in various situations to determine how they calm themselves and others. Calming signals include moving slowly, moving in an arc, sitting or lying down when approached, freezing, turning their head away, yawning, licking, lifting a paw or licking others' faces. It's actually pretty interesting and you can typically pick up on their signals pretty quickly.

All that to say, we've been working on these things today. I switched to longer leashes so they don't get jerked every time we see another dog (a negative association with other dogs), been giving treats if we pass a dog or human calmly and giving rewards if they ignore noises inside the apartment when they would normally growl or bark. And I have to say, it does seem to be a little calmer in our life.

The other thing I've done since we saw the trainer last week is bring the stroller upstairs. The bassinet part is on the floor in the dining room with one of Baby K's blankets in it and the base is now in her room. I'm not really sure what to do with it now. Outside of the one little misstep below, the dogs pretty much just ignore it.

Not what the trainer had in mind...

I also finished some of my "dog homework" and sent it to the trainer so she could look at it before we meet again on Thursday. I responded to questions like, How do your dogs react to adults; How do your dogs react to children; Do your dogs have problems with resources (are they possessive); What if they don't get what they want; and other similar questions. Hopefully tomorrow and Thursday will continue to improve and we will be given more things to work on.

Can't you just see it now…two calm weenie dogs, me and BK enjoying a sweet Baby K, who has adapted perfectly to the planned sleep schedule, and all is well in the world. Um, yeah…we'll keep dreaming! But hey, I guess it's at least worth a shot!