A fierce love

Since having Baby K, and continuing to write on this blog, I've had times when I've had a hard time identifying how I would describe my love for Baby K. That may sound weird, but it's true. Now you may think to yourself, why would you even need to do that? It's not that I need to, per say, but I've just read lots of other mom blogs and heard lots of other moms talk about the love they have for their children, but I just couldn't quite pinpoint it for myself.

During our visit I've had numerous people ask me how I've taken to motherhood and how BK has taken to fatherhood. Generally people follow that question up with the fact that it looks like it's going well based on all of our traveling and other activities.

He's a natural

I'm quick to reply that I actually think that BK took to fatherhood much quicker than I took to motherhood. Of course I love her, but it was different for him. He was a natural and was immediately smitten. It was like his heart grew and you knew that was it for him. Even before she was born, he talked much more to her and loved on us a lot. 

Me on the other hand, it took me a minute, and it kind of felt like I had to grow into motherhood. I think after being pregnant for nine months, then in labor for 15 hours, the reality of our tiny human being finally being here takes a while to process. And with the fact that now this tiny, helpless person is relying on you for EVERYTHING, it's kind of a lot. But as Baby K and I have worked together figuring things out, we grow closer by the day. And something sparked for me on this trip; I finally figured out what my love is for Baby K: fierce. 

Figuring things out

Fierce. Some may perceive it as negative or mean, but it's the only word that fits for me. I can't think of anything else that would describe the way my love feels for her. I feel it in my entire being; it's all consuming. I would do anything to protect her; do anything to help make her dreams come true; do anything to help her figure out what makes her happy in life. But I think that's what happens when you become a mother, right? Maybe not for everyone, but for me.

So there are my thoughts for today. They've been rolling around inside my head since I figured this one out- just wanted to share.

By the way, this was my take on his story; if you want his side, you'll have to go to the source.